Well it seems my relationship with N. has not only wound down, it has come to a screeching halt. We "talked" when he got back from his weekend away and decided that this relationship wasn't going anywhere and it was time to call it a day.
Or to be more precise, he decided it was time to call it a day. Yes, sad to say ol' Suzy-Q got dumped.
I find myself mourning not-so-much losing him perse, more losing the relationship itself. After almost a year of being a "couple" and no longer [shudder] single, I had kinda gotten used to having someone there. Someone to talk to, share things with and care for.
The past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotions. Relief on one hand, that one of us finally had the gonads to say "hey, this isn't love!"; and heartache, over the loss of what was essentially a very close friendship. I miss him, but in the same breath I also feel a sense of freedom.
Don't try to figure it out, I ended up with a headache trying to analyze it myself.