In other news...

I hit my weightloss goal 2 weeks ago, but things have been so hectic around here I haven't had a chance to blog about it til now, and I had hoped to have a couple of pics to go with the announcement, but that hasn't happened either. *sigh* Anyways..."ya me!" 80 lbs gone...and I have decided I still have another 20lbs to go. I am referring to them as "bonus pounds" (get to my goal and anything more is a bonus) and so far I am down another 2lbs.

PTD

Well I tried to get a few pics of my progress to date. Currently sitting at 72lbs gone and 8lbs more to go to the goal I set myself in January - although personally I think I'll try for another 20lbs after that. Anything after 80lbs however will be a bonus.

Girls night out

Most recent pic from a month ago...

Holls almost over...*sigh*

So I am back to work on Monday...and so far haven't made much of a dent on my other things on my "to do" list - but that's OK, this has been a well deserved break. I've made a point of hitting the gym every day and I'm happy with my progress - although the scale is playing a daily game of "gain 1lb...lose 1lb" just to keep me on my toes. I appear to have entered the twilight world of the plateau and I just have to grit my teeth, not lose hope and battle on through it.

I've been studying the package for the promotional exam daily, making copious notes, drinking gallons of coffee and realising that my brain isn't the sponge it was back in my school days. I was one of the lucky ones who never had to study for tests or exams back in school...but it seems with age I now need to learn some study techniques. Any tips from our resident school teacher would be gratefully appreciated!

So what have I been up to? Well last Friday J. , her bf and I hit the "Taste of the Danforth" street festival in Toronto. A celebration of all things Greek - food, drink, music, culture. We had a wonderful time...but as you can see from this pics it was crowded beyond belief!

Saturday, I was at a pool party with friends, but sadly again it was a tad too cool by late afternoon to tempt me into the water. The food was good however and the company ever better - kinda sad in a way that summer is just about over and this was probably the last pool party of the summer.

The traditional "Jello Shot"

Sunday I was photographing sewer pipes (as previously noted), Sunday night I had a date with a guy I have known for a couple of years - but have successfully been able to duck up until this point. He invited me out to watch the meteor shower. Well, we never saw the promised meteors but it was a very starry night and we had a pleasant enough time. I have been avoiding him since as I really don't think we have much in common.

Tuesday was a date of a different kind. A guy I have known for several months...and who plays games like no tomorrow. We agreed to go to the movies...and then he was "incommunicado" from that point on. My response...fine! Screw 'em! And I went to the movies by myself. The Bourne Ultimatum...two thumbs up. Guy in question is deleted from my cell, blocked on msn and can go forth and multiply as far as I am concerned. (The fact he never called is immaterial).

Wednesday I met with an old girlfriend H. for drinks on the patio at a local bar. Our reunion was thanks to Facebook - we had lost touch probably about 10 or more years ago. What I figured was going to be a hour or two bite to eat and quick pint turned into a 5 1/2 hour gabfest. She's now married, with 2 kids (the youngest being a mere 7 weeks old, so this was a big night out for her). We got caught up, marvelled at how well we still got along after all these years, and generally had a wonderful time, promising we'll do it again soon now that we have been reunited. In itself it's not a huge story, except our friendship came along in the most unusual of ways. As we explained later to the bar owner, who came to join us for a drink mid-way through the evening - we both dated the same guy. "Biff" my ex of almost 10 years ago had the unusual habit of remaining the very best of friends with all his exes. My girlfriend was his ex from high school...and again in their mid 20's (he has a tendency to have at least 2 kicks at the can as it were). When he and I got together in the early 90's it was a given that his exes were still a part of his life - in a totally platonic way. I wasn't totally cool with it...but H. and I hit it off like a house on fire. Although the bar owner's comment of "oh so you both slept with the same guy" elicited a chorus of "ewwww's". "Biff" - I am happy to report has married and divorced since our 7 year relationship broke up (to another ex that he re-dated for the second time around) and is now living common-law and is a proud new "poppa" with yet another "ex" who he dated back in the late 80's. We jokingly wondered when my second "kick at the can" was going to happen...but I think I will pass on those sloppy seconds thank you very much!

I wonder if I even have a 2B pencil?

It's been a busy few weeks - work has been busy (and stressful, but I wont go into that), and I have been working all kinds of overtime (yes, for the house). Which reminds me, I need to get out and take a few more pics of my dirt at some point :0)

The promotional process at work has started and I have submitted my resume and application...and am just waiting to hear if I have made the successful candidate list. Assuming I am...the study package will be available the first week of August...and the exam will be September 13th. I hate exams...never was very good at them. If (and it's a huge "if", because apparently it's a bastard of an exam) I pass, the interviews will be in October. They base their interviews on all that "I, I, I, me, me, me" stuff...and when you are a typically self-effacing Brit like myself those kind of statements seem so very alien, smug and downright unattractive. I am going to have to learn how to blow my own trumpet...and sound like I believe it.

My social life right now is it's usual sporadic array of nothing, nothing...busy, busy....nothing. My love life is beyond extinct and I believe it now qualifies for an archaeological dig.

My diet however, is continuing to plod along, as of this date I am down 57lbs and I am trying to "step it up" a little as I have become a little slack in my cardio workouts - hitting the gym only 3 times a week for my weights routine instead of 5-6 times a week with a combination of weights and cardio. I had a knee injury (ironically from over exertion on the treadmill) about 2 months ago. It took forever to heal and I never did get back to running. Originally my goal date was Labour Day weekend...and as of today I am going to be a little short of hitting that target - but not by much, if I step it up now through to the beginning of September. Either way, I will get there come hell or high water before Thanksgiving (Canadian).

I have holidays coming up at the beginning of August...19 days of rest and relaxation. No plans, no destinations ...and definitely no overtime. My last set of holls I ended up working half of them and went back to work feeling that I had never been gone. After the past few weeks at work I definitely need the break...and it will be good study time for the exam.

...did I mention how much I hate exams??

more ptd pics

Jen emailed me a couple of pics...so here's another "ptd" update @55lbs.
Typical I know...I get bugged for photos for months and have none to show...and then I flood you with them!

C'est moi!

Taken June 30th out front of Jen's place (I was there to pick her up to go to a pool party & bbq). Still a long ways to go...

ptd

Oh, and another reason for a big cheesey smile on my face this beautiful sunny Sunday?

I finally hit 50lbs this morning :0) - that's 3 stone 8lbs in English. :0)

Photos to follow I promise - just hard trying to take them on your own!

ptd

Still a long ways to go... here's my progress to date (ptd).

December 2006.

May 12th, 2007

Checking in

I haven't posted much recently...frankly because there has been bugger all to tell to be honest. My life seems to be a roller-coaster at best and we are currently just doing that slow chug-chug to the top of the next big dip.

Life is just ticking along. Work is going well (I am on midnights this week...and to be honest my biggest challenge is figure out which day of the week it is when I wake up).

Starting this coming Sunday night we have 5 new trainees coming to the shift...and I have been strong armed into taking one of them. I've trained before...and hated it. Some people are born trainers/teachers, with the patience of Job himself. That however doesn't describe me. My one foray as a trainer several years ago was beyond stressful and I swore blind I would never do it again...however.... there is a promotional process due to start in the next year...and one of the "prerequisites" for promotion is that I have to have been an active trainer. Ergo if I plan on applying then I had best train a few calltakers. I feel sorry for my trainee...and hope the years have mellowed me a little that we can get through the next 5 weeks together intact and still on speaking terms at the end of it (unlike my last trainee).

The diet is still going strong, down a total of 43lbs now and working out every day - I'm still on track to meet my goal for Labour Day (first weekend of September) - so I am just ploughing on and loving the results so far.

From a "love life" perspective...h'mmmm. I am still seeing my little Irish cop from work - and he does make me smile - but I sense a certain "cooling off" period with him, so we will see where it goes. He's off to the States (DC) this weekend for the Police Memorial and then will be on leave for approximately 3 weeks, touring around, visiting cop friends, drinking copious amounts of beer etc. before finally making it back home to Canada. We'll see how things go whilst he is gone. Blogging about it period generally is the kiss of death on any of my relationships!

The boy is doing well (when I see him!) He's working hard, loving his new car and has quite the active social life. So far he hasn't met up with his father again, and has no immediate plans to do so - they seem to be content with the occasional email message or chatting on Facebook.

Spring has definitely sprung here in Southern Ontario...going from snow flurries and below zero temperatures just 2 weeks ago...to high 20's and our first Smog Alert of the year just yesterday. I am also sporting my first sunburn of the summer...pass the aloe.

For Debbie & Monette

Jo had me out at the gym yesterday, working on my new program. I have to admit there is a huge difference between working out alone and having a buddy along. She wouldn't let me give up - and by the end of our one hour weight program I was more than ready to call it a day...so naturally she dragged me over to the treadmill and had me interval training for another half hour.

I officially hit the 40lb mark today (I've been hovering all week) - woot! I will post real photos once I hit the 50lb mark, instead of just updating the virtual model in the side bar.

Lock, stock and treadmill

Well I'm not supposed to be sitting at the computer at this precise moment. In fact right now, (looks at wrist watch), I should be sweating away on the elliptical after finishing my weight routine at the gym. Unfortunately, when I arrived at the gym this morning I was greeted by at least 4 tractor trailers, multiple police cars, security and the Sheriff.

Turns out my gym has been closed/evicted by the landlord. No doubt the tractor trailers will be loaded with all the equipment in lieu of payment. I wandered up to the door from the parking lot, all wide-eyed (especially after I saw the police cars) my first thoughts being that there must have been a break-in or something overnight to one of the neighbouring shops (my gym is in a strip plaza). I spotted the eviction notice pasted on the door around about the same time as I was approached by the Sheriff.

I am so guilty of stating the obvious with my, "Oh, are they closed then?" (10/10 to the redheaded rocket scientist). The Sheriff confirmed my suspicions (I should've been a detective) and said the landlord had ordered the gym owners out. My earth shattering 6 o'clock newsworthy response? "Oh bugger!"

So RIP Roo's Fitness, you were my gym for the past 3 years and thankfully I only had just over 2 months left on my membership, so I don't feel too ripped off. Yesterday had been business as usual, with no hint of anything in the offing. As I left yesterday I even confirmed with the receptionist what their hours of operation were today seeing as it's Easter Sunday - oh yeah, happy Easter everyone - (although I don't think the Sheriff normally announces his intentions ahead of time when he's coming to kick you out, for fear you'll do a moonlight flit with any valuable chattels).

So now I am gym-less - which is a major kick-in-the-pants set back. On the plus side the weather is getting better outside. I will be watching to see if any of the big box gyms step in to take over the facility, as has happened recently in Southern Ontario with a major chain-gym. I also happen to have two very good friends who work part-time for Goodlife Fitness. One is a receptionist and the other was just hired and completed her personal trainer certification.

I did notice a Goodlife Fitness mini van parked in the lot as I drove away. I wondered briefly if they were there because a) they are taking over b) they are signing up old Roo's members or c) they are just vultures watching the local competitor in his final death throes. I wasn't curious enough however to go back and check them out...although I did wish that I'd had my camera with me.

Edit: So I sat here twiddling my thumbs for an hour or so and then decided to head over to the gym again (this time with camera, but sadly all the mayhem had calmed down and photos of trucks parked at shipping doors just doesn't convey much.) I did however pull up next to the Goodlife minivan and a cute perky little blonde thing (oh god I hate her already) hopped out to come and talk to me. She's the Goodlife district manager and it turns out "yes" Roo's has gone under and "yes" Goodlife are taking over the space.

OMG can I call them or what??

Goodlife will honour all Roo's memberships over the summer months (yay!) and they hope to reopen Thursday once they have their own equipment installed. In the meantime they will honour all Roo's membership cards at any of their facilities - the nearest Goodlife to me is only a few minutes up the road, but the only one near here open today (Easter Sunday) is two towns over in Oshawa. Considering I haven't a clue where in Oshawa it is, and the town is notorious for it's one-way system to confuse the bejesus out of motorists, I think I will take this day to mourn the passing of Roo's and tackle the new gym question tomorrow. All being well I will be back in the old Roo's facility on Thursday.

Progress to date (ptd)

Well I noticed that Moonie is posting her progress photos...so I figured what-the-heck. Just the face so far, I haven't taken any new body shots yet. On the plus side however the new jeans and dress pants I purchased around the end of November are getting a wee bit saggy and I can even slide off the dress pants without even undoing the button or the zipper with practically no effort. (note to self...time to buy a belt, this could be embarrassing!) J. has offered to "loan" me a few things, because I hate to go out and buy new gear just for it to be "too big" again in a few months. However I do love how that sounds ...has a lovely ring to it. I might browse a couple of bargain/charity shops in the meantime, just to save a buck or two.

So without further ado...here's a pic of me taken at Christmas time.

And here's me yesterday...

OK...not dolled up admittedly...but you get the gist...I think you can see a difference in the face/neck/chin area a bit.

Little pink flying elephants

I am home today from work with a yucky head cold that has left me feeling as weak as a kitten. I felt it coming on Tuesday afternoon. Headache, slight runny nose...by Wednesday night I knew for sure that I was coming down with something. Thursday was my first day back to work after days off and all my loving colleagues went to great lengths to tell me that I looked like shite. By dinner time last night I knew I wasn't going to be making it into work today. It's my first "sick day" from work in over 15 months - and I feel guilty as hell for taking the time off. On the other hand I am normally the first one reaching for the antiseptic wipes whenever I encounter a sick co-worker, so I am sure they are all happy that I decided to stay home today.

My flu-ridden brain brought about the strangest dreams last night. Mum was there - decorating the bedroom walls with coloured markers and felt-tipped pens. For some reason I cut out my own tongue with a vegetable knife (probably because I kept waking up totally parched from mouth-breathing and having to get a drink of water) and we kept it in a Ziploc bag so that I could get it sewn on again later. I hasten to add that other than Advil there were no cold medications in my system last night - so I can't even blame the dreams on the hallucinogenic properties of NyQuil.

I'm glad to be back on a normal day schedule, and my weight loss efforts are now back in full swing. All last week whilst I was on the night shift, despite making an effort to go to the gym, and being good beyond belief in my food choices, my weight didn't shift in the desired direction. I had appeared to plateau and at one point my scales even claimed that I had gained back a couple of pounds (I naturally called the scales a bare-faced liar). I wonder if the whole "shift work" scenario has anything to do with it?

Thankfully by Wednesday, back on normal day shift hours my scales (now behaving itself) claims that I had lost another 4lbs. I tried on a pair of old blue jeans that had previously been more than a bit snug and was thrilled to find they not only fit comfortably...they actually hung on my bum and thighs! Thursday morning I was down again...so I am officially 1lb away from my 30lb mark! I have to admit I am feeling fantastic! Still got a long ways to go...but I am determined to get there. Sharing weight loss news with friends like Monette have been a huge help in keeping my motivation going. She is doing fantastically since her gastric bypass surgery in January, and we regularly check on each other's progress on instant messenger. I appreciate however that eventually her weight loss results will have me choking on her dust and leave me trailing behind, but at the moment it really feels like we are doing this together.

The boy started his new job this past Monday and from what I can tell so far everything is going well. The only reason I can't say much more on the subject is that I have hardly seen him! In addition to working full time he is taking night school 4 days a week, and still finding time for a social life himself. I generally get a phone call...or hear the door close as he is coming home in the wee small hours. I shake my head and wonder where he gets the energy from, but then I look back and remember how I was at that age. We'd think nothing of being out partying 'til 2am and still being ready for work the next morning - albeit a tad bleary eyed.

Other than that, not a lot more to report. J. is just back from her week in El Salvador. I can't wait to hear her news and see the pics, I am sure she had a wonderful time. After the kind of week we have had with the ice storm, temperatures of -21 with wind chills of -35 and now this lousy head cold, I am in dire need of some sun, sand and sangria. Roll on spring!

F-f-f-f-f-february

Well the deep freeze has truely arrived here in Southern Ontario. Today's temperatures hovered around the -14 mark...and with the windchill it was -27. Definitely a day to stay indoors (for me at work, for the boy at home), stay warm and thank heaven above that we don't have a dog that demands walking or the need to leave the indoor warmth for longer than it takes to run to the car.

As of yet however...no major snow. We know it's just around the corner - that big wallop that will blanket everything. It's just a case of sitting and waiting. The forecasted 10-15cms for Friday evening into Saturday morning never materialised - thank heavens because it was my turn to drive the carpool into work.

In other news, the boy was let go from his job on Friday, along with 8 other agents and several supervisors. This on the heels of a larger layoff just before Christmas that he managed to avoid. So many of our call centre jobs now are going overseas to call centres in India. There was news before Christmas that the company he worked for hadn't been successful in securing a new contract and that there would be a mass lay off around March time. I guess they have started to make moves in that direction. Last in...first out.

Far from being despondent however, the boy is quite upbeat. He had an application into a major competitor immediately and is looking into going back to school. He is looking at this as a wake up call, he had settled into working for the past year and hadn't been thinking too seriously about the future. Well no further than which bar or club he and his friends would be frequenting the following weekend. If memory serves, at his age my view into the future wasn't much broader. :-) He has decided he will be taking two advanced courses either through summer school or night classes to allow him to apply to University as a mature student.

A fantastic opportunity ...and whilst he is still living at home with expenses at an absolute minimum, it makes perfect sense. He has already started looking into student loans. I glanced at the University prospectus he had and noted the 4 year degree he is contemplating, realising he could well end up 25 years old and still living at home.

Yes...well, I'll let that thought settle a little.

Romantically....sigh...well my life remains the same as always ...empty. There is/was a gentleman I had pitched my cap at. He loved to play hard to get...and I loved the chase. Funny how we are always attracted to "the bad boy" types....OK...funny how I am always attracted to the unattainable bad boy types. The more of an unfeeling cad he was...the more I wanted him. Typical. After our last date however, and now 5 days later, still waiting to have him call - other than brief MSN conversations - I have decided that he can go find someone else who wants to be his "Beck and Call Girl". Almost 2 months of flirting and phone calls down the drain...but c'est la vie.

Health wise my New Year's resolution to try and lose some weight appears to be sticking so far. Down 18lbs, and working out 5 days a week at the gym. One of my co-workers, a firefly of a 28yr old and soon to be new recruit for uniformed officer has decided to take me under her fitness wing and is encouraging me in my fitness goals. She sat and wrote out a routine for me today, which when I saw it I almost fell over laughing. 45 - 60 mins on the elliptical between levels 3-5...followed by an extensive free weights routine ...and her cool down - 50 sit-ups plus a dozen or so oblique crunches (that's a cool down??) Bloody hell.

So there you have it in a nutshell...aren't you glad I saved you all from the schoolgirl wailing and gnashing of teeth over "the Cad" waiting for him to call? I sure am!

Slimming Season

Christmas over.

New Year's over.

Birthday over.

So beginneth the Slimming Season.

Joining me for the first time ever - the boy - who has decided he'd like to drop a few pounds and tone up. I must say I was very touched when he said he wanted to do this with me. It sure makes meals easier to prepare if we are both eating rabbit food, rather than preparing two separate meals.

I'd post "before" pics...but would rather wait and see if the "afters" look any better! LOL

Ironically I was thinking back to my teens/early 20's and happened to recall what I weighed back when I counted every calorie that went into my mouth. It was a shock to realise the weight I was then, that I considered so terribly fat, was even less than what my goal weight today is.

'Twas the month after Xmas and all thru the house
Nothing would fit me - not even a blouse!!!!!
The stuffing I'd nibbled, the turkey I'd tasted
The yummies I'd eaten gone straight to my waist(ed)
The wine and mince pies,the bread and the cheese
I should have just said "No thank you,please"
So as I dressed myself in my boyfriends old shirt
I couldn't believe my bottom and belly-the girth!!!!!!!!
I said to myself as only I can
"You cant spend the year disguised as a man"!!!!!!!
So away with the last of the sour cream dip
Get rid of the fruitcake,every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished
I wont have a cookie,not even a lick
Instead I'll chew on a long celery stick.
I wont have Irish coffees or chocholates or pie
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome and life is a bore
But isnt that what Janurary's for?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Unable to giggle,no longer a riot
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!!!!!!

Fat guy walks into a bar...

A couple of people had the "Oprah Show" on the lunchroom TV yesterday, when I came in on a break. They were already mid-way through the show - I had missed the big Kirstie Alley bikini reveal, so I asked my co-workers how she had looked.

My co-workers were far from kind. Some suggested that Kirstie may have fibbed a little on her starting weight, that she had been far bigger than the 220lbs that she is claiming. Deciding that she must have initially mislead the public (and I am not aware if the 220lb claim is true) my co-workers immediately discounted the reported 75 lb weight loss as "nothing".

Regardless of her true starting weight, the woman deserves to be highly commended for not only losing 75lbs...but losing 75lbs in the public eye. Sure, she has been compensated for being a Jenny Craig spokesperson - as have many other celebs who have promoted one diet or another over the years - but that in itself doesn't make the actual feat of losing the weight any easier. At the end of the day, be you Duchess, actress or the average Jane Doe, when you close your front door at night it's just you, your demons and the fridge, home alone all night long.

Oprah's second guest was a young lady who had once been over 300lbs...and was now down over 170lbs. My co-workers consider her a "cheater" though as she'd had gastric by-pass surgery. They totally dismissed the struggle this poor woman had endured and assumed that the surgery was the "magic cure". Assuming that she would've had to have done no work at all to attain her results. I know there are people out there who would have been only too quick to disagree that losing weight via gastric by-pass is any walk in the park.

By now I had stomached all the fat comments from my co-workers that I could handle (pun intended) and I needed to find a more peaceful place to complete my break before waddling back into the frey of emergency calls.

That more peaceful place could have been this fat girl sitting on my co-workers windpipes until they turned blue...but I was taught to play nice, think before speaking and consider other people's feeling, when I was growing up.

Too bad.

Monday

Well a brand new week...and I can hardly believe that it's October already. The temperature is certainly starting to drop, not as far as jackets and scarves yet, but certainly a nice warm, cosy sweater is called for if you have plans outside. My garden is still in bloom, but mixing with the leaves that have already started to fall from the trees, I know that this is just a last blast of colour before autumn well and truly moves in.

My weekend blues have been replaced with Monday morning optimism - admittedly last week's diet attempt was a dismal failure on the scales this morning. I am more inclined to believe that it was not so much my poor dietary choices through the week, but more biological...and the huge honking chocolate cake I baked and ate two slices of yesterday. Chocolate is good for the soul.

The concert Saturday night was fun, Terri was an absolute joy - although the crowd was certainly a lot more restrained than I was expecting. Concerts I have been to have involved rushing the stage for a better vantage point, dancing, singing along at the top of your lungs and generally having a good time. Canadian concert goers...well the ones at the show on Saturday for certain...are a lot better behaved. Admittedly the age range of the audience members may have something to do with it. They were a bunch of "stay in your seats and applaud politely at the end of each number" kinda folk. Not my types - unless we are attending a string recital or something equally staid.

Jen and I made it as close to the stage as we could...the concert hall security staff (all elderly retirees with matching waistcoats) were as strict as Victorian grandparents and would not let us through the barrier to the stage apron. Photography was also a huge "no-no". Jen was a total rebel however and managed to snap a couple dozen shots - grandma security guard was not impressed and scolded her repeatedly. It was comical. This 60-something security woman was literally shaking with rage over Jen's behaviour...at her side she pulled out her only weapon against such delinquent 40 year old whipper snappers...she pulled out the heavy artillery...her flashlight...full beam in the face. There! Let that be a lesson to you! We are such rebels.

I am still housebound...although I have great hopes that the boy's car will be ready today. Today though I am bound and determined there will be no tear-jerker movies, no moments of melancholy - but lots of "puttering around" before I head back to work tomorrow. Back on program...back on the diet...up the water consumption...and be ready for ballroom class # 3 tonight. After the merengue week 1... (which was a disaster) and the Cha-Cha week 2... (which was a total hoot) ...to tonight, week 3, where we are to learn (pause for dramatic effect)....the tango!

Rose clenched between teeth...
twirl...
twirl...
exit stage right.....
crash ...
bang ...
wallop...

Ole!

Feeling frumpy

So I am sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself. Probably premenstral - but regardless.

I am on holls, stuck at home with no car (the boy's car is in the shop, hence he is using mine)...but come to think of it even if I had the car today there is nothing to do and nowhere to go ...unless one goes shopping that is ...and I think I detest crowded weekend shops only slightly less than the idea of a root canal...plus add to that I am technically supposed to be saving like mad for my first ever house, so shopping really is out of the question. So even if I had the car I would probably still be sat here on my arse feeling ....h'mmm...what exactly am I feeling? Not down perse...or blue..just kinda "blah".

I woke up this morning and was disappointed to learn I have only lost 2lbs this week...after being pretty damn good if I say so myself. Still I have another two days before the official "Monday morning weigh-in". It's maddening how one can gain 5 lbs just at the sight of a box of Milk Tray ...but it takes a bloody fortnight to lose it again. So I treated myself to a luxurious shower. I had picked up a couple of new hair products yesterday at the drug store and was eager to try them out. One promised to make my hair shine like no other and the other promised to make my hair frizz free.

After careful washing and styling I had to admit both products had done exactly as they had promised - I was just horrified to realised I am currently sporting what was known back in the day as a cross between a pageboy and a bob. Add to that it's the same hairstyle more or less as my mother. Don't they warn chaps that all girls turn into their mother's? Seems they were right. This is around the time my daytime blah's settled in. Not that there is anything wrong with mum. Far from it...lovely lady, intelligent, fantastic sense of humour, very independant - to the point of being stubborn....omg I am describing myself....devoted to family (rode 2 buses both ways twice a week to visit her ageing parents), hard working, single mum....ahhhh, yes another thing mum and I share...our singledom. Problem is she's dead. Died at 49. Snuffed out in what was supposed to be the prime of her life. Bugger. So as I am looking in the bathroom mirror at the shiney frizz free hair - looking very Joanna Lumley in a redheaded chubby kind of way and on the verge of turning 40 a cross between Marion Cunningham and Carol Brady...just without all the cutsie husband and happy family stuff ...I wondered is this all there is? I am not ready for sensible shoes and twin-sets ...am I? Feck...who'd date a woman in what my grandmother would call "sensible knickers"? (Despite how comfy they are).

I take my thoughts to the livingroom...after all there's not much else to do today...laundry done, house as clean as it's gonna be and I have already taken a couple of chops out of the freezer for tonight's dinner. A quick perusal of the TV guide shows sod all on... well it is Saturday morning afterall....most normal people - read couples - are out driving their perfect suburban children to their hockey games, or ballet practise...they are doing grocery shopping or browsing the malls. Me? I decide to dig out a few DVD's.

Today's line up includes, Bridget Jones's Diary, The Wedding Date, Hitch, Love Actually and Shall We Dance. Admittedly all chick flicks, all guaranteed to throw me into the depths of ...well let's not go there. Suffice to say it's best not to leave any sharp edged objects nearby at the moment.

So time to settle in with my endless supply of coffee, cats who insist on sitting on my lap and digging in their claws and my latest crochet project. I am not actually any good at crochet - marginally better than I am at knitting...but if I say that all I have actually crochetted so far in my entire life are 4 afghans of varying sizes, you will hopefully realise that my skill level is practically non existant. I once knitted a baby cardigan for my half-sister's first born. The arms were orangutang-ish, armholes so tiny and tight it would have cut off circulation within 20 seconds and I am not 100% certain if the lovely "holey" pattern was exactly pattern perse or dropped stitches. My cousins were wonderful knitters. All three of them. I remember seeing them wearing their creations proudly, wonderfully complex Aran cable patterns. I think I managed a scarf at one point...or rather an over large doiley because it certainly was too short to be draped around anyone's neck.

I get stuck into Bridget Jones, with the marvelous, Renee Zellweger - who has probably never had a "fuck my life sucks" moment in her entire life - when I suddenly realise the entire movie is set on Pride and Prejudice (that classic Jane Austen novel, which I have never actually read, but I saw the movie - god how lame is that?) I actually laugh out loud at a scene where the main character muses that she may end up an ageing, fat, spinster, living with cats, whose only serious relationship is with a bottle of wine and when she dies her body will be discovered in her flat weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs. Yeah, Brig and I share the same flair for the dramatic at times.

So I am killing time watching movies, Jen and I are going to a concert this evening to see Terri Clark. I am not actually a Terri Clark fan, but when Jen phoned me all excited several months ago to say the tickets had gone on sale I agreed to go with her, basically because I had/have nothing better to do. It will actually be my first night out in months, and it beats sitting home all night watching the telly.